at the edge of our affordable neighborhood i riding my bike where the lawns are no longer cut and the woods grow deep as they like in the beginning isn’t it good? with the eyes in the shadows upon me i’m of ambivalent mind adoring authorities are horrified in spite of no bites in the beginning isn’t it good? i hate the ending—i hate the middle too my blessing bothers me even now my blessings all defy believin’ (now) you take all the ugly animals far away so sick at the sight you lock ‘em up and you leave ‘em banging the cage no longer a fright! oh no what do i do? i’m stuck stuck on the thought of you oh my sense is meaningless oh no what do i do? i’m stuck stuck on the thought of you all my sense assembles lies all my sense assembles lies i won’t run and hide when you come for me i won’t even bite i’ll tranquilly take to my cage it’s alright now oh so stop pretendin’ oh it’s alright now oh just stop

am i beloved enough to offset your shitty tragedy? am i unlucky enough to remove you from memory? ha ha! got some laughter that you ought to take how could i be? how could even i be? hold on to your stomach if it starts to ache how could i be? i’ll get even… either way i’m ashamed of offering therapy in spite of you oh how you hated your health in the city sanatoria oh now you doctor yourself with a chemical curative ah ah… little brother, how sick have you been? hook an i.v. hook another i.v. oh nobody has a better medicine hook an i.v. i’ll get even… either way i’m ashamed of wanting your suffering to end now what am i supposed to do? how long will you struggle to get well? i’m sick of visiting hours either way i’m ashamed of wanting all your suffering to end now what am i to do? do do what you do and now i’m waiting for some harm to come to you God, give us a convalescent without a future, past, or present another rush like before can’t drive a spike into a sunset how long will you struggle to get well? i’m sick of visiting (that’s true believe it or not) oh isn’t isn’t she lucky? a life less harrowing now how long? how long? how long? what am i to do?

you could say you could say anything you could say anything at all and i say it means the world to me and i say it means nothing at all you could say you could say anything you could say anything to me and i say i’ll hang on every word and i say i’ll even climb the tree held hostage in the sitting room i’m gagged and bound to make a move oh, have the heat been notified? they say it’s safer not to hide you can blame the stars if you want to go complain if one of them should fall do your worst and curse the earth we crawl some love the torture i swear the crime wasn’t rehearsed don’t you dare come prepared don’t say anything at all oh, lovely filthy little fool broken exception to the rule ten thousand ancient points of light won’t trouble us from such a height [chorus] you could say you could say anything you could say you could say anything you could say you could say anything you could say anything at all

a sublet for accommodations buried underground we’ll make the neighbors wonder “why’s that racket so lovely now?” but our momentary “all for” faded into non-existence same as ever the population of the suburbs was no lover for me box my junk up once again and say “why thank you” altho my alma mater thought her boy would be returning i will never the babies in the nursery curse me cos i don’t stick around never break a promise, never make a promise lately where’s your heart at? never let me have it, never let me have it give it to me talk to me don’t talk to me about anything talk to me don’t talk to me about whose hearts are made for one another talk to me don’t talk to me i don’t believe in anything and getting older wouldn’t be so bad talk to me don’t talk to me i don’t believe in anything and getting older wouldn’t be so untimely had i vocation even if i use every moment, every avenue coming into view, approaching me altho i sit still nothing can remove what regret is cutting into me and the knife bleeds too because the knife’s my very own

that’s what they’ll say because they are who they are you take all the blame… you take all the blame how could you plunge ever so it’s pretty obvious heaven turn a blind eye… heaven never mind you once cut your teeth on making out now your bite won’t fit inside your mouth you made your bed unmaiden lie burning, undercovered lull asleep your rage… lull asleep your rage but rising recognize that calm doesn’t come… happiness is only lesser misery hold out your hands all prayerfully, yeah hold out your hands and close your eyes who doesn’t care for a nice surprise? bon bon? no way! don’t peek already you look and you die should sugarplums disturb your slumbering dance another way want not to want and be glad that you have either

i forget why all this consuming i do there’s a hunger i’ve got that i can’t remember not at all having once had and fear is the reason i move it’s so unhealthy, oh i know i would like a better impetus i’m gonna die death’s always nipping my heels i can turn it away with a pellet that i take but only for so long already a-flashing again i’m so afraid of all the ghosts who look like someone i used to know and oh, this maze is making me ill my mind’s so numb i no longer feel the walls have no beginning or end i’m wishing for an exit but to wish is useless (to keep playing, insert another coin) then one day i turn ‘round a corner and you nearly crash into me with your ribbon and your cheek and that is how we meet tho yellow i no longer fear any phantoms i’ve known i would frighten if you went away